How do I keep calm? (An attempt at poetry about my feelings)

How do I keep calm? When he wakes up and cries and scratches my back and wants me to hold him The feelings are right The moment is wrong I have work to do, people to make ready, chores to finish I have places to go and I am falling back on the clock How do I keep calm?   How do I keep calm? When I have cooked and cooked Every recipe on the books All he wants is mac n cheese And for me to let him off the hook The feelings are right The moment is wrong How do I keep calm?   How do I keep calm? I spent all day playing superheroes and firemen I spent all day reading books and blowing bubbles I want to breathe, I want my space All he wants though is to have more play The feelings are right The moment is wrong How do I keep calm?   How do I keep calm? He is crying on the flight The staring eyes at me with all the might I cannot hold him as the attendant gives me fright. I pray , I cry, my lenses are now misplaced The feelings are right The moment is wrong How do I keep calm?   How do I keep calm? I leave him in the morning He sees me at night The days are long The years are short I love him no matter what The feeling is right The moment is wrong How do I keep calm?

The Tao Of Kaizen Motherhood

Ambition and Laziness Going Hand in Hand Ever since I knew myself, I wanted more. I had the ambition to reach the stars. I wanted to buy more of land, have more money, work more, have more friends, have a bigger house, travel more, just more more more. Ever since I knew myself, I also was very lazy. I studied last moment before the day of exams. I cleaned right an hour before guests arrived, packed right before a trip. Picked my clothes when they were enough mess to bother me. Cooked food when I was hungry. Completed projects when they were due. The only thing that I ever did on time when I was a kid was my homework. I would complete it in the recess and then come home and play. I did not like homework at home. I wanted to have fun after school. Ever since I knew myself, I was also a workaholic. I worked and worried way too much about everything about my work. I signed up for everything and was the “yes” person. I would always know what other five people in the team are doing and their work. At home, though, I was ok. I was not raised to be a house frau. I was raised with a lot of house help. We had someone to wash dishes, wash and fold clothes. Our clothes would be ironed by the laundry guy few doors down. We also had a cook. To get up and start cleaning from start of the day till night does not come naturally to me at all.   I always thought it was not necessary to have organized spaces, but I feel very different about it now.   Having Kids and Change in Perspective – No Time To Be Lazy And Still Wanting More Out Of Life   As soon as I had kids, my last minute work has not helped me with my need of doing more. I was raised with a lot of house help too so the need of being so responsible was never felt until five years ago when I had my son, and his needs became the highest priority in our lives. My whole outlook towards life has changed.   I have to be more prepared for kids’ food and activities and even mine to schedule things around their activities and nap times. I have to make sure they always have clothes to wear and myself too. I have to think about health consciously as I want to be active with them for as long as I live and I want them to make healthier choices too.   I also want to increase my patience and become calmer in my attitude towards my children. I think I am sometimes so swamped in thoughts that it becomes harder for me to understand their attitude. Being compassionate towards their feelings is going to be my biggest why on why I want to make changes in my life. …

How To Keep Calm And Survive Terrible Twos?

I have two boys. 5 and two years old. I am surviving terrible twos, and I have to admit that “twos” are the hardest years so far. I love the four-year-old age. They bring their amazing questions and perspective to life and make the world so much entertaining.  But handling a two-year-old? It is the most dreadful part of motherhood I think. Especially if you are a first-time mother who is in love with her baby and then reality suddenly sets in, and you are like,”What monster did I give birth to????” I have a friend who has a third baby boy(about six months old) and she keeps looking at him and saying,” Oh my God, you are going to be a two-year-old one day!” I find it amusing when she says that but that is how every mother feels. I love to take my kids outdoors and to the community parks. But in scorching weather here in Las Vegas, it is impossible to take them to parks. So we have indoor playgrounds. I feel sorry they have been home all day, and I should be doing something to keep them entertained, so I take them to these playgrounds. More often than not my two-year-old has played for 10 minutes and then asked for a snack that he is not allowed to take on any of the slides or structures. It is so hard for him to handle this rule. He wants to eat and run around like at parks. At indoor playgrounds, he has to choose between a snack and playtime. He cannot wrap his head around it. I have stopped going to indoor playgrounds unless there is a party invitation. There was a time when he kept throwing himself down on the ground crying at an indoor place. I was trying to tell him in vain that he has to choose between snack or the playground and on the side was giving the weirdest “I am trying people” smiles to individuals who were staring at me( a  thing I don’t understand about parents and the indoor playground owners. Don’t they go through the same thing? Do they expect to be in a spa environment when it is an indoor playground full of kids which may have some two-year-olds to stare like that?) There have been couple times now that I have signed up for mommy and me classes with him like cooking with children, music and movement class and hip hop class. More often than not, he has not wanted to be in the class environment on the first day. My older kid when he was two years old handled this so much better. But he would keep holding my pants and not move without me. It took him a while to get adjusted. My younger kid doesn’t care to hold me or anything. He just either keeps running in circles or looks for food in my purse or wants to get the hell out of there. In his defense, he does try. …

The Zen in Throwing Kids’ Parties

So a couple of days ago we went to our first trunk or treat organized by a wonderful mommy group that I am a part of. I was a little overwhelmed because I was not sure what decorating a Trunk entails but it was super easy.  Here is the pic of our trunk: The one thing I realized when talking to other moms is that everyone agrees that this is a lot of work that all parents put in. Planning and decorating, getting costumes for kids, getting them in the clothes, planning and making or buying a dish to share. And kids, they don’t care much about the efforts or anything. Here is how our decoration went. I started putting things up. I said to my older son, “Can you please help me? We will decorate this car and go for a fun event at the park.” My kid said, “No.” And started asking me a bunch of crazy questions. “Whose party are we going to? Why are we decorating the trunk? Can I eat the candy already? Why should I wear a costume? Can I just wear regular clothes?” He gave me a tough time getting ready and out of the door that day. At this point, I was wondering why the heck was I even trying. But we went regardless.  The park had their splash pad open, and moms were pulling kids away from there. It stopped being funny when my son ran to it too. I had to distract him with food. But then they did not want to take pics or anything or eat the healthier food that was available before they could eat desserts. No, they just wanted to play in the park. Everyone enjoyed, though. Then we had a parade and then kids visited everyone’s trunk for a candy treat (or a noncandy one for the ones with allergies). The kids were on a sugar high eating way too much candy, and it is not even Halloween yet, and I was wondering to myself, Why do we feed our kids candy?? And plan such events full of sugar when we know kids are going to be cranky after? My children went to another Halloween celebration day after. Today we went to a pumpkin patch. At our house, we are also celebrating Diwali this weekend and my son’s birthday is on the actual Halloween day. We have fun things planned back to back. Then we also have a birthday party planned in few days. The balloons, the decor, the cake, the food. Kids gather and play and are again super tired, and then we feed them a cake? Why? Why do we do that? An exhausted child becomes cranky but energetic after cake. Maybe they should be fed cake before the party? So they can burn the sugar off? I remember when I was young,  the most people who would be invited to my birthday party were 5 and they would come on their own. There …

Self-Care Challenge – Day 3

  Moms, you wake up at 4 am and work endlessly. Your brain does not switch off even when you lie down on your bed while everyone else is asleep at night. You have things to take care of, places to reach. You are NON-STOP. Today’s Challenge : Pause. Take a break. Sit down. Do not hurry for anything or if at all possible. “Do NOTHING” Question : What goes on in your mind when you decide to pause? Please let me know in comments.  

Self-Care Challenge – Day 2

  How many times do we go from past to future in our lives as moms? Always thinking about tomorrow and wondering if life will get any easier and thinking about the easy life we had before kids gets us nowhere other than the land of stress. Today we bring ourselves to the present moment with this simple exercise that I am sure you will love.   Today’s Challenge : Savor a piece of chocolate (and if you are one of those rare cases who does not like chocolate, insert any other piece of fruit or food choice of your liking. Savoring a chocolate or a piece of fruit or any food you like really brings all senses together. Before you put a piece of chocolate in your mouth admire it’s existence, inhale the fragrance. Put the chocolate in your mouth, close your eyes and experience the texture, enjoy the taste. Eat it slowly. This savoring moment brings you in the present moment. Question: What were your thoughts about this exercise?  Please let me know in the comment below.